Barely a Bride Page 3
On this, the seventh day of January in the year of Our Lord 1793, we, the sons and heirs to the oldest and most esteemed titles and finest families of England and Scotland, do found and charter our own Free Fellows league.
The Free Fellows league is dedicated to the proposition that sons and heirs to great titles and fortunes, who are duty hound to marry in order to beget future sons and heirs, should he allowed to avoid the inevitable leg-shackling to a female for as long as possible in order to fight the French and become England’s greatest heroes.
As charter members of the Free Fellows league, we agree that:
1. We shall only agree to marry when we’ve no other choice or when we’re old. (No sooner than our thirtieth year.)
2. We shall agree to pay each of our fellow Free Fellows the sum of five hundred pounds sterling should any of us marry before we reach our thirtieth year.
3. We shall never darken the doors of any establishments that cater to “Marriage Mart” mamas or their desperate daughters unless forced to do so. Nor shall we frequent the homes of any relatives, friends, or acquaintances that seek to match us up with prospective brides.
4. When compelled to marry, we agree that we shall only marry suitable ladies from suitable families with fortunes equal to or greater than our own.
5. We shall never be encumbered by sentiment known as love or succumb to female wiles or tears.
6. We shall sacrifice ourselves on the altar of duty in order to beget our heirs, but we shall take no pleasure in the task. We shall look upon the act in the same manner as medicine that must be swallowed.
7. We shall install our wives in country houses and keep separate establishments nearby or in London.
8. We shall drink and ride and hunt, and consort with our boon companions whenever we are pleased to do so.
9. We shall not allow the females who share our names to dictate to us in any manner. We shall put our feet upon tables and sofas and the seats of chairs if we so choose and allow our hounds to sit upon the furnishings and roam our houses at will.
10. We shall give our first loyalty and our undying friendship to England and our brothers and fellow members of the Free Fellows league.
Signed (in blood) and sealed by:
The Right Honorable Griffin Abernathy, 17th Viscount Abernathy, aged nine years and two months, eldest son of and heir apparent to the 16th earl of Weymouth.
The Right Honorable Colin McElreath, 27th Viscount Grantham, aged nine years and five months, eldest son of and heir apparent to the 9th Earl of McElreath.
The Right Honorable Jarrod Shepherdston, 22nd Earl of Wetmore, aged ten years and three months, eldest son of and heir apparent to the 4th Marquess of Shepherdston.
Prologue